Sunday, November 14, 2010
Happily Ever After
I spent the day watching romantic comedies. It was very enjoyable but also a form of torture. Everybody says life isn't like the movies. But you know what? I think it is. Because in all of the movies I watched today (Penelope, When in Rome, Confessions of a Shopaholic), the heroine went through some major struggles before falling in love including, but not limited to, living with a pig nose, having her heart broken over and over again, and some serious debt. And these ladies ended up with James Mcavoy, Josh Duhamel, and Hugh Dancy. So they did pretty well in spite of their circumstances. And I will too. And my marriage will last much longer than all of my friends who are my age or younger and already married or planning on getting married. Because I am living my life. I am discovering who I am without depending on a man to define me. I am overcoming my struggles not by settling and getting married but by working hard and learning lessons. My life will make sense someday. And someday I will meet a man who does not need me. And I will not need him. And we will be happy together. Not because we complete one another but because we complement each other. And that will be my happily ever after. And I can wait for that.
Do you believe you can have your cake and eat it too?
I have never understood this idiom and therefore never used it. So in order to answer this question, I looked it up online. It supposedly means "you can't have it both ways." An example often cited is that of an engaged person still wanting to date other people. Others have recommended switching the phrase and saying "you can't eat your cake and have it too" as in you can't eat it and save it for later. This question is sort of lost on me. I don't think it is right to date when you are engaged, but surely that cannot be the only way in which to use this saying. Perhaps I will use school. You can't get good grades and play all the time too. Well, I beg to differ. I have lots of fun in school and I get good grades. But I don't party ALL the time and I sometimes have to blow off my friends to do homework. Okay, work. You can't have a good job and work hard and get paid well and still enjoy what you do. I can see this a little bit more, considering I want to be a teacher. Anything else that would pay more is not something I really want to do. But I enjoy the work I do. And I make enough money to support myself and pay my debts and have some extra, so I suppose this is alright for now. Love life. You can't expect to meet Mr. Right without doing a little footwork yourself. True true. So perhaps for this saying to mean more to me, it should be more like, "You can't eat a cake that is super high calorie and expect to stay thin." Meaning you can't expect everything to be easy. If you want to eat your cake you have to exercise. But you can still have your cake and eat it. As long as you exercise. Or don't eat as much. If I want good grades I have to do my homework. If I want a job which I enjoy I have to accept a lower salary. If I want to meet the man of my dreams I have to get off my ass. I guess what I'm trying to say is that in all aspects of life, compromise and diligence are key.
I have never understood this idiom and therefore never used it. So in order to answer this question, I looked it up online. It supposedly means "you can't have it both ways." An example often cited is that of an engaged person still wanting to date other people. Others have recommended switching the phrase and saying "you can't eat your cake and have it too" as in you can't eat it and save it for later. This question is sort of lost on me. I don't think it is right to date when you are engaged, but surely that cannot be the only way in which to use this saying. Perhaps I will use school. You can't get good grades and play all the time too. Well, I beg to differ. I have lots of fun in school and I get good grades. But I don't party ALL the time and I sometimes have to blow off my friends to do homework. Okay, work. You can't have a good job and work hard and get paid well and still enjoy what you do. I can see this a little bit more, considering I want to be a teacher. Anything else that would pay more is not something I really want to do. But I enjoy the work I do. And I make enough money to support myself and pay my debts and have some extra, so I suppose this is alright for now. Love life. You can't expect to meet Mr. Right without doing a little footwork yourself. True true. So perhaps for this saying to mean more to me, it should be more like, "You can't eat a cake that is super high calorie and expect to stay thin." Meaning you can't expect everything to be easy. If you want to eat your cake you have to exercise. But you can still have your cake and eat it. As long as you exercise. Or don't eat as much. If I want good grades I have to do my homework. If I want a job which I enjoy I have to accept a lower salary. If I want to meet the man of my dreams I have to get off my ass. I guess what I'm trying to say is that in all aspects of life, compromise and diligence are key.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
What kind of weather do you like?
I like the kind of weather that is not weather. I like dry heat. No humidity. No cold or chill whatsoever. Maybe a light breeze. No rain, no snow, no sleet, no hail. Just warm. I like fall in theory, but unless I am bundled up in several layers of clothing, gloves, and hats and holding a piping hot mug of cocoa, I do not like it in reality. Snow can kiss my butt. That is why I live in St. George. I belong in the desert. And the desert is probably where I will stay.
I like the kind of weather that is not weather. I like dry heat. No humidity. No cold or chill whatsoever. Maybe a light breeze. No rain, no snow, no sleet, no hail. Just warm. I like fall in theory, but unless I am bundled up in several layers of clothing, gloves, and hats and holding a piping hot mug of cocoa, I do not like it in reality. Snow can kiss my butt. That is why I live in St. George. I belong in the desert. And the desert is probably where I will stay.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
How comfortable are you in your town/city? State?
Woah Nelly, where do I begin? This is so difficult for me to even think about answering. I hate Utah. I hate the politicians, the hypocrites, the rebels, the general population. I hate the extreme cold and snow and slush. I hate that there isn't an ocean. But I love that my whole family lives near here. I love that I can see them without having to get on a plane. That was the hardest part about being a nanny in D.C. I missed my family so much more because they were so out of reach. Now I've finally found a city that I actually enjoy living in that is not too far away or too close either; St. George! Salt Lake was cool and fun but it was so trendy it hurt. Everyone there thinks they are the shit. It is also so frigidly cold. St. George on the other hand is so cool and fun and CHILL. Need I say CHILL again? Oh I love it. It is so warm; even in winter it doesn't get that bad. Sure, we have our fair share of bigots but for the most part, people here could care less. There is so much to do outdoors. Yeah, everything closes at 9 and there are no clubs, but Vegas is only an hour and half away. So yes. I am very comfortable with my city. For now. But I don't want to raise my children in Utah. I don't want to have to vote in Utah anymore either. I would like to move somewhere close but far away at the same time. Maybe Washington or New Mexico or Colorado or So. Cal. Just not Arizona. But for now, St. George'll do.
Woah Nelly, where do I begin? This is so difficult for me to even think about answering. I hate Utah. I hate the politicians, the hypocrites, the rebels, the general population. I hate the extreme cold and snow and slush. I hate that there isn't an ocean. But I love that my whole family lives near here. I love that I can see them without having to get on a plane. That was the hardest part about being a nanny in D.C. I missed my family so much more because they were so out of reach. Now I've finally found a city that I actually enjoy living in that is not too far away or too close either; St. George! Salt Lake was cool and fun but it was so trendy it hurt. Everyone there thinks they are the shit. It is also so frigidly cold. St. George on the other hand is so cool and fun and CHILL. Need I say CHILL again? Oh I love it. It is so warm; even in winter it doesn't get that bad. Sure, we have our fair share of bigots but for the most part, people here could care less. There is so much to do outdoors. Yeah, everything closes at 9 and there are no clubs, but Vegas is only an hour and half away. So yes. I am very comfortable with my city. For now. But I don't want to raise my children in Utah. I don't want to have to vote in Utah anymore either. I would like to move somewhere close but far away at the same time. Maybe Washington or New Mexico or Colorado or So. Cal. Just not Arizona. But for now, St. George'll do.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
How comfortable are you in your home?
I really love my apartment. I love living on my own. I have this freedom to be as anti-social and quiet as I want. I can practice loud screaming monologues or belt-y broadway tunes without bothering my roommates. I don't have to deal with parties that I don't want to have or drunk roommates or messes that don't belong to me. While my place is by no means the perfect example of a fine place to live (I am on a college student's budget), it is mine. And it suits me fine thank you.
I really love my apartment. I love living on my own. I have this freedom to be as anti-social and quiet as I want. I can practice loud screaming monologues or belt-y broadway tunes without bothering my roommates. I don't have to deal with parties that I don't want to have or drunk roommates or messes that don't belong to me. While my place is by no means the perfect example of a fine place to live (I am on a college student's budget), it is mine. And it suits me fine thank you.
Monday, November 8, 2010
What is your fondest childhood memory? Who was there? What was going on?
What a loaded question. That should be an easy one. Especially because my childhood wasn't especially bad. It is odd to me how the older I get, the more I forget. Scratch that. The more I forget the good things and only remember the bad things. My childhood was not rife with hardships, it was just the victim of two parents who were not in love anymore. But I look at pictures of myself when I was young and oh did I ever smile big. I was such a funny kid! I'm always looking so mischievous. There is this one picture of me and my uncle Trenton on Halloween when I was 4 or 5. He's looking off somewhere and I'm standing to his side, looking sneakily/smugly in his direction like I'm plotting some dastardly funny deed. It's brilliant! And from what I remember, that is exactly what it was like all the time. I thought I was a grown up from the time I was 2. So I grew up early. Partially because I had to and partially because I've just always been a little mature for my age. So I will write about a childhood memory in which I am the epitome of a child. I cannot remember anything except pure, unadulterated, youthful joy from this day. It was when I went to Disneyland for the first time. Well, the first time I can remember. I was 6 months the first time I went. This memory happened when I was 9. My family had just moved to California. I remember waking up super early because I was so excited and putting on a purple outfit. Purple shorts (who knows where those came from) and a purple tank top. I even rationalized that I had to wear a tank top (technically against my religious dress code) because it would be so hot, which it really wasn't. I woke my parents up at like 7 and told them we had to go. They said that maybe we wouldn't; it was supposed to rain. I suspect they didn't want to go because they were frightened by their hysterically excited daughter. Oh no, that was not happening. We were going! I dragged them out of bed and got my brothers and sisters ready. I actually don't remember much of Disneyland itself except for getting there, seeing the castle, and freaking out. It was the build up that was the most exciting. A truly happy memory because if anybody knows me, they know I LOVE Disneyland. It is my happy place.
What a loaded question. That should be an easy one. Especially because my childhood wasn't especially bad. It is odd to me how the older I get, the more I forget. Scratch that. The more I forget the good things and only remember the bad things. My childhood was not rife with hardships, it was just the victim of two parents who were not in love anymore. But I look at pictures of myself when I was young and oh did I ever smile big. I was such a funny kid! I'm always looking so mischievous. There is this one picture of me and my uncle Trenton on Halloween when I was 4 or 5. He's looking off somewhere and I'm standing to his side, looking sneakily/smugly in his direction like I'm plotting some dastardly funny deed. It's brilliant! And from what I remember, that is exactly what it was like all the time. I thought I was a grown up from the time I was 2. So I grew up early. Partially because I had to and partially because I've just always been a little mature for my age. So I will write about a childhood memory in which I am the epitome of a child. I cannot remember anything except pure, unadulterated, youthful joy from this day. It was when I went to Disneyland for the first time. Well, the first time I can remember. I was 6 months the first time I went. This memory happened when I was 9. My family had just moved to California. I remember waking up super early because I was so excited and putting on a purple outfit. Purple shorts (who knows where those came from) and a purple tank top. I even rationalized that I had to wear a tank top (technically against my religious dress code) because it would be so hot, which it really wasn't. I woke my parents up at like 7 and told them we had to go. They said that maybe we wouldn't; it was supposed to rain. I suspect they didn't want to go because they were frightened by their hysterically excited daughter. Oh no, that was not happening. We were going! I dragged them out of bed and got my brothers and sisters ready. I actually don't remember much of Disneyland itself except for getting there, seeing the castle, and freaking out. It was the build up that was the most exciting. A truly happy memory because if anybody knows me, they know I LOVE Disneyland. It is my happy place.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Live What You Love
My dear friend Alexa Winn inspired me a little bit by the way she is writing her blog right now. She has had a month of prompts that ask questions about life. I found this list while "stumbling" one night and I thought that I would follow suit. www.tiadpeterson.com/live-what-you-love-50-questions-to-ask-yourself/
Thanks Lexa! I hope you don't mind that I'm sort of copying you.
Question 1:
How do you really feel about what you are doing right now at this exact moment?
I'm going to take this more philosophically than literally. Because at this moment I'm writing my blog before bed while listening to a "nostalgic" playlist on StereoMood. And I feel fine about that. But when it comes to life in general, that is a little bit more tricky I suppose.
At this point in time in my life I am very successfully pursuing my career through work and school. I am more financially secure than I have ever been. I am finally very confident in my appearance and my personality. I am getting along with my mom and dad. So by all accounts, I should feel excellent and very proud. And I do. Feel proud anyway. But excellence is a bit far off.
I am also currently pining over a man with whom it would be absolutely foolish to pursue anything, even friendship and yet, I find myself planning how I'm going to tell him I love him and he will change and we will live happily ever after, every night. I don't feel good about that. I feel dumb actually. Because I am about to dive in very deep water, without a life jacket or flotation device, knowing full well that I am prone to drowning. It feels very reminiscent of past situations I have gotten myself into.
I am not where I would like to be spiritually in my life. I don't go to church anymore and I have stopped actively trying to live my life the way I should. I use the word "should" not in the sense that people are telling me I "should" but that I believe I "should" and I in fact want to. In part. I also want to explore life. And those two forces are fighting against each other very strongly. I have a new favorite quote by Rene Descartes (French philosopher): "If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things." And that has been the story of my life the past 6 months. I figured I wasn't super happy being a member of the LDS church (mostly for political and partially for social reasons) so maybe I should try something else. But I promised myself that I would stay close to God throughout the process; continue praying, reading books of scripture from other cultures, even attending other churches in a quest for truth (even though I think I knew the truth all along). I have not done any of that. I have gotten lazy. And something is decidedly missing from my life. Something that was not missing before. I am not more unhappy now; simply a little more hollow. And I would like to amend that.
In closing I feel proud, dumb, and hollow about what I am doing right now. But I would also like to mention that I am hopeful. I feel like I am on the right path even if I may be tripping on a few rocks along the way. And that is that.
This was fun. I like this idea.
Thanks Lexa! I hope you don't mind that I'm sort of copying you.
Question 1:
How do you really feel about what you are doing right now at this exact moment?
I'm going to take this more philosophically than literally. Because at this moment I'm writing my blog before bed while listening to a "nostalgic" playlist on StereoMood. And I feel fine about that. But when it comes to life in general, that is a little bit more tricky I suppose.
At this point in time in my life I am very successfully pursuing my career through work and school. I am more financially secure than I have ever been. I am finally very confident in my appearance and my personality. I am getting along with my mom and dad. So by all accounts, I should feel excellent and very proud. And I do. Feel proud anyway. But excellence is a bit far off.
I am also currently pining over a man with whom it would be absolutely foolish to pursue anything, even friendship and yet, I find myself planning how I'm going to tell him I love him and he will change and we will live happily ever after, every night. I don't feel good about that. I feel dumb actually. Because I am about to dive in very deep water, without a life jacket or flotation device, knowing full well that I am prone to drowning. It feels very reminiscent of past situations I have gotten myself into.
I am not where I would like to be spiritually in my life. I don't go to church anymore and I have stopped actively trying to live my life the way I should. I use the word "should" not in the sense that people are telling me I "should" but that I believe I "should" and I in fact want to. In part. I also want to explore life. And those two forces are fighting against each other very strongly. I have a new favorite quote by Rene Descartes (French philosopher): "If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things." And that has been the story of my life the past 6 months. I figured I wasn't super happy being a member of the LDS church (mostly for political and partially for social reasons) so maybe I should try something else. But I promised myself that I would stay close to God throughout the process; continue praying, reading books of scripture from other cultures, even attending other churches in a quest for truth (even though I think I knew the truth all along). I have not done any of that. I have gotten lazy. And something is decidedly missing from my life. Something that was not missing before. I am not more unhappy now; simply a little more hollow. And I would like to amend that.
In closing I feel proud, dumb, and hollow about what I am doing right now. But I would also like to mention that I am hopeful. I feel like I am on the right path even if I may be tripping on a few rocks along the way. And that is that.
This was fun. I like this idea.
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