Why is it that lately I am only posting when I am at work Saturday mornings? It's not like I am so busy every other day. Well, that's not entirely true. But I am not busy at all on Fridays. In fact most Fridays I just laze around. This last week was hard for me. I drank coffee. More than I would have liked to. And I didn't practice guitar. And I didn't clean my apartment. It's really starting to get ridiculous. We were talking in institute (which I am so glad I am taking) about doing things, even chores, out of love. I talked to Brother King about what I can do because I live alone. And he and I decided that I can do things out of love for my future husband and family. So that is what I am going to do. I'm watching a baby girl right now who is probably one of the sweetest things I have ever seen. And I was thinking about my mom. When she was my age, she was 8 months pregnant with me. What a crazy thing. If I were 8 months pregnant, I'd be bringing a child into a very messy apartment where no meals were cooked, just microwaved or purchased. And I'm not ok with that. So instead of thinking about how much I don't want to clean because I live alone and no one really cares I will think about my little baby waiting for me in Heaven and how much I love him/her and want to prepare a pleasant environment for him/her to grow up in. So that's the plan. Also, this week I've been sick, which really sucks. But other than that, things are good. Except Math. My teacher makes me want to strangle myself. He is smart, I can tell. But he won't let us use our books in class which is a major problem because he doesn't explain the problems he is doing, he just does them and expects us to follow along. It's frustrating.
Anyway, on to my question, because it has been an eternity since I've answered one.
What is one thing you could do today, this week, this month, or this year to get a step closer to creating the legacy in #17?
I swear on my life I didn't look at this question until I started writing. This is what I wrote for #17.
I would also like to be remembered as a pillar of strength and a positive thinker. A good wife. A best friend and trustworthy confidant. A believer in God with unwavering faith. A fighter and a supporter. A brilliant author. An Amazing Race winner. A talented actress and a beautiful singer. An inspiring teacher. And an excellent mother.
I think an excellent way to start becoming an excellent mother would be to clean out of love like I mentioned above. I should continue to go to Institute and start going to church to have unwavering faith. I can keep writing in my blog to become an excellent writer. I can keep going to voice lessons to be a beautiful singer. And I can keep working out and eating right in order to prepare for The Amazing Race.
All very doable tasks.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Oh my!
Life has been hella crazy lately. I miss updating my blog constantly so I'm going to start doing it again. Consider it a late new year's resolution (I didn't think it would be a problem in the first place). School is good. Sort of. Math is hard. Education 1010 is boring. Multicultural education is long. I think I'm done with Shakespeare so I can go to a different institute class. My evening class is so full, I don't feel at all like I'm connected to anyone. I need a smaller class. So I signed up for one. I've been working a lot lately. Picking up shifts (well shift) at the gym, subbing for Kreative Kids. It feels good and grown up but also stressful. I dyed my hair red. It's a throwback to olden days before I decided to change myself for an acting career. I like it. So life is good.
My resolutions are going well. Not perfect, but well. I'm still a slave to diet coke. And currently I'm drinking a latte. But these addictions aren't nearly as bad as they used to be. Instead of drinking 64 oz of diet coke a day, I'm down to a 21 oz average. And this is my first cup of coffee in the new year. I don't watch as many rated R movies. When I do see a dirty scene I don't really watch it. I'm not going to see The Black Swan because it's a, and I quote, "psycho-sexual thriller." I'm just not interested in watching Natalie Portman, who used to be like my favorite person in the world, make out with a girl. I'm learning to play the guitar. I've decided if I'm going to compete for Miss Dixie again, I have to set myself a part. So I'm learning to sing and play at the same time. I already know the first little bit of Echo by The Hush Sound. I'm quite pleased. I'm also a member of the Service Club and the Happily Healthy club at Dixie. We have yet to have any meetings but I think both of these things will really help me improve myself. I started working out again this week. Turns out I'm a monster at spin. Like so good. I love it. I think it would be cool to get good enough that I can get certified. I'm taking a belly dancing class to help me want to exercise. It's a lot of fun! I really think I could be awesome at that too. I've had a few slip ups and I still curse like a sailor, but I feel myself growing closer to God once again. It's a good feeling.
In other news, I think I might decide to teach secondary school instead of elementary. I don't know but it sort of feels right. My original thought was that I would want to teach English which would take me a long time to get my degree but still less time than if I were to teach elementary. But then I started thinking about being a drama teacher. And I don't know how I feel about that. I swore I never would. And I don't know if I really want to. It would take me a lot less time in school. I know it shouldn't really be about that but that doesn't change the fact it would be nice to make use of some of the credits I earned at the U. And I would be involved in theater without really having to be involved in the lifestyle. I could still have a family. I could do a lot of good. But it would be a lot of hours and a lot of emotional turmoil. But then again, I guess teaching in general could be a lot of turmoil. I guess I won't know until later this semester. I'm going to be spending a day in a secondary school in the role of a quasi-teacher. I think then I will know if secondary is right for me. Then I can make the decision of what I want to teach, if it's right for me of course. But writing about it sort of makes me want to lean toward drama. We'll see. I'll pray.
I would answer one of my fifty questions but I'm at work and should limit my browsing history. Also this entry is really long already. Maybe later today. Or tomorrow. But definitely soon.
My resolutions are going well. Not perfect, but well. I'm still a slave to diet coke. And currently I'm drinking a latte. But these addictions aren't nearly as bad as they used to be. Instead of drinking 64 oz of diet coke a day, I'm down to a 21 oz average. And this is my first cup of coffee in the new year. I don't watch as many rated R movies. When I do see a dirty scene I don't really watch it. I'm not going to see The Black Swan because it's a, and I quote, "psycho-sexual thriller." I'm just not interested in watching Natalie Portman, who used to be like my favorite person in the world, make out with a girl. I'm learning to play the guitar. I've decided if I'm going to compete for Miss Dixie again, I have to set myself a part. So I'm learning to sing and play at the same time. I already know the first little bit of Echo by The Hush Sound. I'm quite pleased. I'm also a member of the Service Club and the Happily Healthy club at Dixie. We have yet to have any meetings but I think both of these things will really help me improve myself. I started working out again this week. Turns out I'm a monster at spin. Like so good. I love it. I think it would be cool to get good enough that I can get certified. I'm taking a belly dancing class to help me want to exercise. It's a lot of fun! I really think I could be awesome at that too. I've had a few slip ups and I still curse like a sailor, but I feel myself growing closer to God once again. It's a good feeling.
In other news, I think I might decide to teach secondary school instead of elementary. I don't know but it sort of feels right. My original thought was that I would want to teach English which would take me a long time to get my degree but still less time than if I were to teach elementary. But then I started thinking about being a drama teacher. And I don't know how I feel about that. I swore I never would. And I don't know if I really want to. It would take me a lot less time in school. I know it shouldn't really be about that but that doesn't change the fact it would be nice to make use of some of the credits I earned at the U. And I would be involved in theater without really having to be involved in the lifestyle. I could still have a family. I could do a lot of good. But it would be a lot of hours and a lot of emotional turmoil. But then again, I guess teaching in general could be a lot of turmoil. I guess I won't know until later this semester. I'm going to be spending a day in a secondary school in the role of a quasi-teacher. I think then I will know if secondary is right for me. Then I can make the decision of what I want to teach, if it's right for me of course. But writing about it sort of makes me want to lean toward drama. We'll see. I'll pray.
I would answer one of my fifty questions but I'm at work and should limit my browsing history. Also this entry is really long already. Maybe later today. Or tomorrow. But definitely soon.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Welcome New Year! To be honest, I didn't feel like writing all last week. And this week my internet was disconnected and will not be reconnected until Saturday. It has been hard to keep myself busy.
We found out Richard has been using drugs again. He had to be hospitalized because he freaked out so much when Mom told him to stop. It is hard. Especially because Chase just got out of jail. I know it doesn't make much sense why that would affect the situation but it did. It's just that Chase was Richard's age when I knew him. And when he was ripped out of my life because of drugs. I don't want to go through what I went through with Chase and Marco only a bajillion times worse because it's my flesh and blood brother this time and not just a friend. It sucks. I hope he gets his head on straight.
Resolutions are going well. I'm very proud of myself and progress.
Write your epitaph - the sentence you would want to appear on your grave.
Another reason I haven't written in an eternity is because I have had such a hard time figuring it out. I honestly don't know. I know I want it to be a quote by someone I admire; most likely Shakespeare. And I want it to be something funny and sarcastic but still deeply meaningful. My life view. In a sentence. It is hard to know what it is. I feel I will know it when I see it. Or when I am closer to death. But then again, I can never know when I will be close to death. So to whomever is reading this, if I die before I figure it out, tell my mom I want it to be a Shakespeare quote. She'll pick a good one.
We found out Richard has been using drugs again. He had to be hospitalized because he freaked out so much when Mom told him to stop. It is hard. Especially because Chase just got out of jail. I know it doesn't make much sense why that would affect the situation but it did. It's just that Chase was Richard's age when I knew him. And when he was ripped out of my life because of drugs. I don't want to go through what I went through with Chase and Marco only a bajillion times worse because it's my flesh and blood brother this time and not just a friend. It sucks. I hope he gets his head on straight.
Resolutions are going well. I'm very proud of myself and progress.
Write your epitaph - the sentence you would want to appear on your grave.
Another reason I haven't written in an eternity is because I have had such a hard time figuring it out. I honestly don't know. I know I want it to be a quote by someone I admire; most likely Shakespeare. And I want it to be something funny and sarcastic but still deeply meaningful. My life view. In a sentence. It is hard to know what it is. I feel I will know it when I see it. Or when I am closer to death. But then again, I can never know when I will be close to death. So to whomever is reading this, if I die before I figure it out, tell my mom I want it to be a Shakespeare quote. She'll pick a good one.
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